Crazy Class

Photo by: Benpaarmann

A quick post just to pass on some of my favorite moments in teaching involving vomit!

1 Blowing up the lungs
I do this lesson about the lungs and breathing. We look at some OH’s of the lungs and check out breathing in and out etc. I finish off the lesson by bringing out some pig or sheep lungs. I have a sterilised tube that I stick down the trachea and make a good seal with my hand and blow up the lungs. This kid wants a go. I tell him only blow, not suck, be careful etc … you can guess .. The kid blows up the lungs a bit and then, to fill them up, more sucks a deep breath in. He sucks in a minging amount of mucus from the sheep’s lungs. He ran straight to the sink and puked his guts. The moral of the story is always follow the instructions of your teacher.

2. I did this lesson checking out how the taste buds can detect different tastes like sweet, sour and bitter. I had some different anonymous drinks for them to taste by dropping them with straws onto their tongues. At the end of the prac this kid asks if he can drink the coke …. I say yes. The next kid asks if he can drink the tea …. I say yes. The next kid asks to drink the salt water. I told him “No way” but he grabs the pint glass and downs the lot while the rest of the class chant “Drink, drink, drink” and bang on the desks. The kid slams the glass on the desk well proud of himself. Thirty seconds later he turns a funny colour, tells me he feels sick and goes to the sink and pukes himself stupid while the class piss themselves laughing. The bell goes for home-time and the class leave. I try to help the kid but he is still full of macho stuff. I tell him to go home and drink some water. The next day he shows up to the lesson. Did he drink water? The fuck he did. He went home and had a roast dinner which he spewed up all over his Mum’s carpet.

I saw the same kid in the supermarket 2 years after he left school. He had this baby with him. I tried to say something positive and commentated on what a good baby he has. The kid agrees with ” Yeah, he’s good, you can drop him on his head and he doesn’t even cry”. I made my excuses and headed for the wine section.

3 Parasite puke

The last vomit comet was whilst showing a video about human parasites. This kid made it past the tapeworm and the leech up someone’s nose but spewed all over a classmate when he saw a bot fly larvae in some woman’s head. He made his excuses and went to the nurse, leaving the lab technician to clean up his mate. The sad thing is that he missed the 10 foot tapeworm called Fred!

4 Watch out it’s sharp

I did this disection of a sheep’s heart. At the beginning I gave the kids this big spiel about how sharp the scalpel is and how we must go careful. I go to make the first cut and sliced straight into my finger! Talk about looking a prat in front of a class of thirty. Like a true pro I went off to get a plaster and carried on even though I was as red as my blood!

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